Mommy Martyr - I - Am

Friday, August 7, 2009

Freebie Fridays ! ! !

Today's freebies:

Relax this weekend with an Aveda Relief * and smell the sweet scent of your free Jessica Parker Fragrance sample

* One per customer. While supplies last. Participating locations only. Offer expires September 30, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

stupid . . . STUpid . . . STUPID !!!

Is the word “stupid” a bad word? I think so! Is it acceptable for a children’s book from the public library to have that word in it? In my household and many others that I know, the word “stupid” is considered to be a bad word and we refrain from letting our little ones use that word. My little one does not know that word yet but I know that eventually he will pick it up from someone at school but I would, of course, strongly advise him not to use it.

I was having story time with my little ones and it so happened to be a children’s books from our local library and as I was reading it aloud, the word “stupid” came up and I was taken by surprise because I had never seen that word in a children’s literature targeted for preschoolers. That word was present few times in the book. After the first instance, I started to skim the pages before reading it aloud and would just skip over the word when it came up. I certainly value my local library and its resources but the librarians who pick the books have some responsibility to pick books with appropriate contents, don’t they?

I’m not quite sure how to handle this situation. I wonder if the author ever thought of the word “stupid” as a bad word. Sometimes, we adults use a lot of words that can be a bad word in a child’s world. Authors that write for children should have some responsibility to avoid using words that might be considered a bad word. Could the word stupid be replaced by some other word like “don’t understand”? Am I just an overprotective mother who is overreacting? Have you encountered some unexpected words in your children’s books? How did you handle it?

I’m still debating whether I should bring this up to the librarian and how to go about it. In the mean time, we are enjoying our other books without any surprise words :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Freebie Fridays !!!

Today's freebies:

Kick off the summer with a FREE Portrait Package from Picture People !

Package Includes:

1 - 8x10
2 - 5x7s
8 - wallet-size

Offer expires July 25, 2009, so hurry and get your free family portrait.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Also,

Enjoy a Free Pastry * courtesy of Starbucks ONLY on July 21, 2009 till 10:30 AM or till pastries are gone :)
On your mobile device, you can open this and show your barista

* Pastries included in offer are: Muffins, Scones, Bagels, Croissants, Rolls, Breads, Pound Cakes, Morning Bun, Coffeecakes, Cheese Danish, Apple Fritter, Doughnuts, Tarts, Pies, Gluten Free Orange Valencia Cake, Tropical Paradise Bar.


Have a great weekend !!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

P – O – O – P . . . Find out what it means to a toddler . . .

I’m P.O.O.P.Ed (Positively Obsessed Over Potty Education), Are you?


Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! It’s a blog about THAT! Don’t close the blog and pledge never to return to my page just yet (feel free to stop at the warning at the bottom)


This is in fact a subject that has been part of lengthy conversations and explanations not to mention numerous demonstrations and bribes in my household lately. Yes, you’ve guessed it; I am in the process of potty training my toddler. This has been a long process and finally I think I hear the gush sounds of the toilet after a little person has actually gone to the bathroom. It has come down to either bribe or keep up with the diaper duty, so naturally, I opted for bribe. And so it begins - the art of bribing a 3 year old ! How and what do you bribe with? Almost everyone suggested offering a reward. Sure, that sounds easy! I have lots of toys, stickers or books that I can offer. So, I started with them, one by one, with absolutely zero luck. I’m utterly confused as to what I can offer a child who is too smart to fall for my bribe scheme. And then, AHA! I found his sweet tooth !! Why couldn’t have my son been happy with stickers like the other kids?


Although, it has been stressful on me, my little one is enjoying being in the bathroom and playing with EVERYTHING in there - endless toilet papers, shiny handles and faucets, the ever famous bubbling soaps and yes! even the toilet brush (when his potty used to sit on the floor, he'd ask for the brush to clean his potty :) He was so excited to sit on “Mama’s potty”. Every pee was cheered on with applause so loud that you’d think someone just won an event at the Olympics. We would be hugging, high-fiving and cheering “hooray” and saying “you did it!” Now, we have moved onto the second phase :) and it has been 2 busy days of dropping everything to rush my toddler to the potty as soon as I hear the mention of wanting to go the potty (my other son has so much patience – Bless him !) Today, he actually decided to take a look into the potty before we flushed and my little toddler made funny comments that I’m a little embarrassed to write about, but this is my life and I must enjoy it no matter how embarrassing :)


WARNING: The following is completely out of my toddler’s eyes and it may disgust you :)


At first, he glances, and then he looks at me with a HUGE smile on his face because we had been working towards this for many months now and he says “Mama, I poo pooed”. Then, he looks again, and tells me “Mama, snake poop” and I died laughing ! It was the most hilarious thing I’ve heard from him and I have NO idea where he got that from (What exactly are they teaching on Sesame Street? hmmm). Then, he looks at it again and tells me with a sad voice “poo poo broken”. I couldn’t contain myself, I was literally laughing out loud – it was such an innocent remark but my husband begs to differ.


That’s the scoop on poop !! :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Freebie Fridays !!!

Today's freebies:

Coffee Lovers -- this one is for you !!

McDonalds is having a Free Mocha Mondays now till August 3.

McDonald's is offering free samples of McCafe between 7am and 7pm. Samples sizes of 8 oz. Mocha or 7 oz. Iced Mocha (so think small coffee cup size) are offered to per person per visit.

No coupon is required, but check with your 'regular' McDonald's to make sure they are participating in this promotion.

Chocolate Lovers -- don't forget to get your free chocolate bar here


Happy a good weekend !!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Freebie Fridays !!!

Today's freebies:


Reading lovers, for your weekend reading, try these Free Audio Books


Happy a good weekend !!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Freebie Fridays !!!

Every friday, I will be posting freebie items on my blog, so check back next friday for more freebies !

Today's freebies:

1) Free Chocolate Bars ! ! ! (who doesn't love chocolate?)

Visit this link here and get yours today !!

2) For the Kids:

>> Kids song " I can do it myself " by Miss Amy

>> Lowe's Build and Grow clinics

Happy Friday !!

Mumblings of a toddler . . .

a look at yesterday's events through my toddlers eyes . . .

In the morning, I was washing some dishes and I picked up a used knife to wash and he kept telling me “NOOO Mama, don’t wash THAT knife”. I asked him why not and he said “That’s Papa’s knife”. Then, he started to tell me “don’t touch knife. It’s sharp. Danger!” I guess he has been listening to me when I’ve been telling him that he shouldn't touch knives.

Before his afternoon nap, I was reading a book to him and while reading (there was a reference to a mother and son in the story) I told him that he is my son. He told me (very loudly) “NOOOOO, I’m Ashwyn”. I repeated, “Ashwyn, you are my son”. He replied “No sun, Mama. Cloud” while looking out his window to the sky (funny little toddlers :)

Later in the evening, I was cutting up some onions for dinner and he started telling me loudly “Papa cut onions. No Mama, Noooo.” He’d seen my husband cook dinner the past 2 nights, so he assumed my husband is the only one that is allowed to be in the kitchen (that's a brilliant idea too, I thought :). In the past, when he had seen me in the kitchen many days in a row, he would push me into the kitchen and say “Mama, go kitchen”.


Even if we are not explaining things to toddlers, they are doing their own observations and that calls for us (adults) to be even more diligent about our words and actions when we are around them. Little eyes are watching and hearing your every move – that’s a scary little thought! :)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Little smiles . . . Big Impact

How is it possible that a small person's smile can have such a big impact on us? When I see my kids smile at me, I’m so intoxicated by it. I could be having the worst day of the week and just seeing the smiles makes me feel all better. How can just a smile cheer up your whole day? It’s like a drug to cure any problem.

What is it about a child’s smile that’s so endearing to us? Is it their innocence or the purity of their heart? When a child smiles at you, you never have to second guess their intentions; you know that they are smiling at you for the right reasons. And the babies that can talk, it is so amazing that they are able to feel you and say the right things. If I’m not having a good day, my toddler can sense that and he would do funny dances and acts to make me smile. And If I pretend to be sad, he gives me company to be sad (he usually says “Ashwyn sad too”).

As we grow up, these smiles get less noticeable. When I’m out with the kids, strangers are always smiling and talking to them. But, if I’m out by myself, I notice less of these smiles and sometimes even when I give someone a smile, I don’t always get one in return. Could this be because adults smile at each other with different intentions or they don’t really intend to smile but do anyways just to be polite? The innocence years…how blissful are those! :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

To Montessori or Not to Montessori . . .?

That is the question that has been plaguing my mind the past few weeks. Last year I faced a similar dilemma when I decided that I was going to enroll my son in a “school” setting for the first time. Although we love the ‘traditional’ preschool that he attended last year, I thought I would explore the Montessori system once more.

I thought that I had read enough about the Montessori philosophy and understood how it worked, but after visiting a nearby Montessori, I realized that there’s more to ‘Montessori’ than the name suggests. First, there are all kinds of organizations under which a Montessori school can be accredited. Second, the teachers need to have the Montessori training as well. However, I’ve discovered that just because a preschool has the word “Montessori” in its name does not mean that it IS an authentic Montessori school even if they do “try” to practice some of Dr. Maria Montessori’s philosophy. The problem is that “Montessori” is not trademarked or copyrighted, so anyone is free to use the word as they wish.

Sadly, the Montessori that I visited was not accredited or was affiliated with any of the Montessori associations. Also, I found out that the school I had visited had teachers whose background checks were not performed and teachers that didn’t even have the proper Montessori training. Good thing I did my research before I pulled my son out of a place that we liked.

There are Montessori ‘schools’ being run out of people’s homes – so that made me think, why not out of my home? Okay, so I don’t have the Montessori training but the whole thing with Montessori is that, we are teaching our kids through a certain philosophy, right? Having reviewed the Montessori methods, I realized that I have been doing a lot of it at home anyways.

Are limitations on creativity necessary at this age? I saw a video of a 2 year old transferring objects from one container to another every SO properly and seeing that made me think if we are setting ourselves up for OCD kids? I saw that boy transfer the item several times but at some point he forgot to use the spoon to transfer the item and he put the item back, picked up his spoon and started transferring again. If everything has to be exactly right, then what happens later in life when things are not right? And is the spoon the only way to transfer that item? I'm not sure how creativity or problem solving skills are encouraged if you HAVE to do things in one certain way. If Montessori method is such a great way of learning, why is it not in every public school? Surely, there are enough Montessori trained teachers out there looking for jobs.

Maybe I need to learn more about the Montessori phenomenon but does a toddler need to go to school the whole day to learn Montessori? That brings me to my other concerns about sending my son to full day of Montessori; he would be taking a nap on a little cot, and since he’s a picky eater, I would have no assurance that he actually ate his lunch (no one other than a mother can sit for hours begging her child to eat). So, for right now, we have decided that our little toddler would sleep in his full size bed and have the occasional lunch battles with M.O.M (Master of Multitasking) :)

For those who are interested in learning more about "The Montessori Method", the book written by Maria Montessori can be downloaded for free here

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Kids = Sign away privacy

This is kind of embarrassing for me to write about...but... it's my life !!

I would have never imagined 5 years ago that I would be sitting in the bathroom with barely enough room for my feet. As if my bathroom wasn't small enough, I needed to furnish it with a bathroom scale, a toddler's potty, a baby's bathtub, a chair (because step stools are not high enough to reach the sink and it's the only place available to sit when my toddler accompanies me), and a baby bouncer !



Don't I deserve some potty privacy and space too like my -- ahem! not naming any names, but you know who you are...I can hear you snoring :)


Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into being a stay-at-home mom. Really?

Am I a stay-at-home mom ........or......... a stay-at-home cook? ........or......... a stay-at-home maid? ........or......... a stay-at-home teacher? ........or......... a stay-at-home keeper-of-all-things? (applies to my dear husband as well) ........or......... (I could go on forever).

I guess i'm all of that, but I don't remember signing on any dotted line that said "you are now signing away every bit of your privacy" (I could have used that annoying "are you sure you want to sign this ?" pop up).

When did going to the bathroom become a tossup game? And when did a meal meant whatever you can get your hands on (and I mean, WHATEVER ! Time for a confession: I have lied to my son about his mac 'n cheese that magically disappeared)

How could taking a shower be the highlight of your day? When you are a stay-at-home mom, you look forward to that 5 mins of serenity. Eating meals on time is not always a possibility but when you do get it...AND you can eat it in peace, even the broccoli's taste so delicious !

But, funny as it sounds, I don't want to trade my life for anything else... weird, right? I know ! When I see the smiles on my cuties or see their accomplishments (yes, peeing INSIDE the potty is a GREAT accomplishment !), I feel so privileged that I can experience all of their 'firsts' and all of the other priceless moments.


My rugrats are WAY too cute and adorable...BUT.... { yes, there is always that at the end of my sentences...} :)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I want BIG money ... please !

Is it too early to discuss money with small children (say, a three year old)?

Although my toddler doesn't quite grasp the idea of money or how much he REALLY has in his piggy bank, he sure knows that he wants lots of it. When we gave him a dime instead of his usual penny to put in his piggy bank, he thought we were giving him less money because the dime was smaller in size than the penny. And he insisted that we give him "big money".

When I was growing up, I knew the concept of saving money but I didn't really understand what was really done with the money on a day to day basis or how to manage it, for that matter. I want to change that and go further with my kids and teach them about money. I want to teach them that spending is just as vital as savings. What is the point of saving all your money if you never spend it? When I was little, I wanted to save and save ... and save even more. Perhaps that 'saving' mindset has made me turn into the coupon clipper that I am today.

I want my kids to be smart with their money and spend it wisely. Mismanaged money has caused a lot of people to be homeless or lose almost everything. The one course I would have used in life was not taught in my engineering program–money management. I’m hoping that I can be a good teacher to my kids and I will be delighted when they protest for their penny allowances :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

That's NOT our kid !!!

I see people turning their heads and giving me "the look". I look at my husband and he looks at me and we both are thinking to ourselves that this kid is NOT ours.

I have a toddler who has his own mind and he is not a 'quiet' one. Our toddler has figured out that Mama is not going to be giving him a time-out when we are at the grocery store. My toddler behaves in a certain way at home and another way when we are out. But then again, aren't we all like that? We all have our 'best' behavior and other behaviors. The fact that he is a toddler doesn't exclude him to express himself whether it is loud or angry. I admit, though, it does get to me at times as well, but isn't that what we want our children to excel at - expressions?

At school, our teachers want us to express ourselves through music, art, stories, and other things. So, why am I trying to block out my toddlers expressions instead of paying attention to it? I am trying to teach him how to behave in different places because our society has set the "acceptable" behaviors. It will take time for him to learn the differences and behave appropriately. In the mean time, I'd like to enjoy his innocence and sense of humor that only he has. My toddler is so funny and he says the darndest things that make me say "did he just say THAT?" or "how did he know to DO that?" His innocence is so inspiring and sometimes at a level beyond his age.

To these lookers, I say 'do you expect me to handcuff and tie down my child?' when i'm out of the house? I'm not running an army boot camp...or am I? :)


This is for you my #1 wild thing . . .

Wild thing
You make my
Heart sing
You make
Everything
Groo-vy
Wild thing

Wild thing ... I think I Love you !!!

Friday, June 5, 2009

2 Extra Cranky Kids...TO GO, Please !!

Why haven't there been any advances in technology to decipher a baby’s cry? It’s all a guessing game even when it’s baby #2. Up until yesterday, I used to tell people that my baby is not fussy at all as long as he is fed and changed but that all changed overnight (literally !). He had been cranky since yesterday afternoon and I thought surely he would sleep through the night because he didn’t sleep much during the day. How could I have been ever SO wrong ?!? Wouldn’t it be just nice for babies to lay around and just let us know ever so gently that they are hungry or their diaper needs changing? But of course NOT ! That would just make this mom a little sane, wouldn’t it? And that can’t be !

It was raining in the night and my toddler got scared and he walked into my room carrying ALL of his stuffed animals at 3 AM. I don’t know how he opened the doors carrying all these toys. So, there I am lying in bed and trying not to fall out of bed with a toddler, infant and 4 stuffed animals (An octopus, a frog, a penguin and a car) – and I don’t have a king size bed either (I really wished I had one though).




So, I’m “trying” to sleep and WHAM ! I just got kicked in my tummy by my infant and I see that he is lying perpendicular to the bed. So, I slide him back in position and close my eyes again. Not too long after I hear the little one crying and what do I see? My toddler is now perpendicular to the bed and is comfortably using my infant as an ottoman !! AGAIN, I try to sleep after repositioning the kids. But of course that didn’t last long. I hear a whiny ‘mama’ call from my toddler for some water – at first I thought I was dreaming, but then I realized that in order to dream, you actually have to sleep :-\

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Hiss....hiss....my snake encounter!

Though it was a bit hot, what a beautiful today was. The kids and I were at the library for a children’s program and when we got back……THERE IT WAS……. slither……slither….hiss…hiss…. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't believe my eyes! There were two black snakes charging toward my car door at the same time as I opened it to get out. My OH My!!! I freaked out! I froze for one whole millisecond. I knew that I had to do something quick because my two precious little ones were in the back seat. I closed the door as fast as I could and locked it (as if the snake would climb up my car door and open it) but I felt safe knowing that the door was locked. I sat in the car on our driveway and watched the two snakes. I was, to say the least, petrified. Then, one of the snakes moved and I jumped in my car but tried not to scream so that my toddler won’t get scared. I covered my mouth and let out a big whisper scream. I, then, called my dear husband – oh wait! He is 700 miles away – but still I called him (he IS a talented guy BUT could he scare away the snake over the phone? That’s the million dollar question!). As I talked to him, I got the courage to start the car (ya I know, I’m a wussy). Do these snakes think that they scare me and I’m too afraid to walk that LONG walk to the front door? YEP and I slowly backed out of my driveway.

So, now I’m parked on the street and have kept my eyes on the one snake who has decided to take a nap on MY driveway. I wanted to cry and scream and say WHY ME??? Why does a person who is scared of spiders have to face two very long black snakes inches away? Am I a walking Murphy’s Law? And how do I break that… do I keep walking and if so, for how long? I was only half thinking and that’s not a good thing when you are driving. Thank goodness I live in a ‘quiet and safe’ neighborhood. I was scrambling to figure out what to do and I thought this is an emergency (at least for me, it was) and called 9-1-1. The dispatcher ‘tried’ to calm me and told me that the snake must have been out since it’s a hot day and that it will just go on its way.

How long must I wait for his highness to wake up from his nap? Then, I see it slithering away towards my backyard (I think!). I took my eyes off the snake for a second to attend to my baby and then it was GONE! Though I was ecstatic to see it gone, now my worry was, could it be somewhere in my front yard. So, I decided to call one of my neighbors and have him come out and do an inspection before I walked that ever so long walk to the front door. It seems like I spend an eternity in the car but it was only for 10 or 15 minutes.

Will I ever feel 'safe' again in this neighborhood? Will I let my son out to play in the yard? Will I rush and put the house up for sale before my husband gets back in town? Ha ha ! Okay, so I won’t do any of that but I have put myself under house arrest for today and will be a little cautious when we are outside. What an adventure today was for this supermom !

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Lessons learned...second time around

Call me crazy but didn't I learn all the tricks of the mommy trade the FIRST time ?? Why did I freek out and take my son #2 to the doc when he threw up a few times? Okay, so I did get scared seeing the amount and the frequency of the throw up. Is it just me or do all the kids get sick on fridays? I have to admit though that I have been a little worried about my wee little one since i've been noticing a pattern in his throw ups - he tends to spit up/throw up more after I give him cereal. The doctor says 'that can't be' but I am going to run my own medical trials and find out. So, I went to the doc only to hear her say, give your son some pedialite.

Now, to my other dilema... to work or not to work, that is the question that has been plaguing my mind for the past month or so. On good happy days, I look at my kids and I say to myself, how can I leave them at a daycare and go off to work? Will they be fed good food and on time at a daycare? Will they be sitting in their dirty diapers? So many of these questions run through my head. But on days where my kids are driving me up the wall (or they are climbing up the wall), I find myself sitting infront of my computer browsing jobs on Monster.com and I give up at about 2 AM when I hear wailing from my bedroom for his next feeding.

so the quest for answers continues...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I'm here !!!

I'm a self-proclaimed mommy martyr of 2 cute little boys. My first son, Ashwyn, just turned 3 and my second son, Arion, just turned 6 months old.

I am by profession a software engineer but I have been a stay-at-home since I was pregnant with Ashwyn - almost 4 years now. I started journaling about my daily events when I was pregnant with my first son. It was a great way to see my feelings and the events that led up to the birth of my first child. But having to bear all the household responsibilities, taking care of my son and dealing with my husband, to say the least, I could not find the time to journal anymore. My second son is now 6 months old and I feel bad that I didn't give him the same appreciation when I was pregnant and even now as I did with Ashwyn. I have been through a lot over the past 6 months and i'm ready to start again !!!

Though as tough as it is, having 2 boys is the most wonderful thing that have happened to me. I found a poem that describes my boys! Taken from http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/boypoem.htm

Little boys come in all shapes and sizes,
Shy and adventurous, full of surprises,
With misshapen halos and mischievous grins,
Small dirty faces, and sweet, sticky chins.
They'll keep you so busy, and yet all the while
Nothing can brighten the world like their smile.
And no greater treasure has brought homes more joy
Than a curious, active, and lovable boy!

This is a blog dedicated to my boys and I will be sharing my experiences as a mom and will share how having kids has changed my marriage. I called myself a mommy martyr because I always did everything for my kids and husband but always sacrificed my needs. I never learned to say 'no' and went way beyond expectations once I said yes to anyone.

Thanks for visiting my blog !! Please leave your comments. I surely will appreciate them and please accept my apologies if I don't respond to you right away! Having to take care of 2 small ones sure does take a lot of my time! Thanks for your understanding.

~ Sibz